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Festivals and sporting events

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The nationwide festivals listed below all include, necessitate and are, in some cases, the imaginative product of prolonged beer-swilling. Why else would you drive to the edge of the Simpson Desert to watch a horse race? More seriously, each mainland capital tries to elevate its sophistication quotient with a regular celebration and showcase of art and culture, of which the biennial Adelaide Arts Festival is the best known.

All cities and towns also have their own agricultural “shows”, which are high points of the local calendar. The Christmas and Easter holiday periods, especially, are marked by celebrations at every turn, all over the country.

JANUARY

Sydney Festival Sydney, NSW. Starts the first week. Three weeks of festivities all over the city – in parks, theatres and cinemas – with something for everyone, from new film and outdoor jazz to contemporary art and current-events lectures. http://www.sydneyfestival.org.au/info.

Australian Open Tennis Championship Melbourne, VIC. Mid- to end Jan. The year’s first Grand Slam attracts hordes of zinc-creamed tennis fans to see the best players in international tennis compete for two weeks at Melbourne Park. whttp://www.australianopen.com.

Tamworth Country Music Festival NSW. Mid-Jan. Ten days of Slim Dusty and his ilk, attracting over 50,000 people and culminating in the Australian Country Music Awards. whttp://www.tcmf.com.au.

Big Day Out Various locations. Late Jan to early Feb. Australia and New Zealand’s largest outdoor music festival, with over 250,000 people gathering at six different locations over successive weekends to see Australian and international indie and alt-rock bands. Kicks off in Auckland, then moves on to the Gold Coast, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and finally Perth. whttp://www.bigdayout.com.

FEBRUARY

Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras NSW. Early Feb to early March. Sydney’s proud gay community’s festival runs throughout Feb and culminates at the beginning of March with an extravagant parade and an all-night dance party. whttp://www.mardigras.org.au.

Perth International Arts Festival Perth, WA. Mid-Feb to early March. Australia’s oldest and largest arts festival, attracting renowned international artists, performers and attendees to indoor and outdoor events all over the city for three weeks. whttp://www.perthfestival.com.au.

Adelaide Arts Festival SA. Late Feb to early March. Held in even-numbered years. The country’s best-known and most innovative biennial arts festival, featuring opera, theatre, music and dance, and including the largest literary festivals in the world; not to be missed. whttp://www.adelaidefestival.com.au.

MARCH

Australian Grand Prix Melbourne, VIC. Formula 1 mania takes over Melbourne for four days, with action centred on the purpose-built Albert Park race track. As well as the high-adrenaline 58-lap race, which takes place on Sun, off-track entertainment includes air displays, rides, go-karting and glamour in the form of the pit girls. whttp://www.grandprix.com.au.

Womadelaide Adelaide, SA. First or second weekend. Part of the Womad festival circuit; three-day party featuring world music, folk, blues and jazz. whttp://www.womadelaide.com.au.

Moomba Waterfest VIC. Second weekend. A long weekend of partying in Melbourne, beginning and ending with fireworks, with lots of water-based fun on the Yarra River in between. Don’t miss the “Birdman Rally” in which various flying contraptions assemble at Princes Bridge and attempt to defy gravity. whttp://www.melbournemoombafestival.com.au.

APRIL

Melbourne International Comedy Festival Melbourne, VIC. Leading laughathon that attracts more than a thousand home-grown and international comics throughout April. Based around the Melbourne Town Hall, but with programmes in over fifty other city venues, spanning stand-up comedy, plays, film, TV and street theatre. whttp://www.comedyfestival.com.au.

Targa Tasmania Statewide, TAS. Mid-April. One of Australia’s top motor events : 300 cars, many vintage, on a six-day, 2000km rally A petrol-head’s paradise. whttp://www.targa.org.au.

JUNE

Sydney International Film Festival Sydney, NSW. Early June. Important film festival, running for over two weeks and based at four CBD venues including the glorious State Theatre. wsff.org.au/.

Barunga Cultural and Sports Festival NT. Queen’s Birthday weekend. This three-day festival, held on Aboriginal land near Katherine, offers a rare and enjoyable opportunity to encounter Aboriginal culture in the NT. No alcohol. whttp://www.barungafestival.com.au.

Laura Dance and Cultural Festival Cape York, QLD. Third weekend; held in odd-numbered years. Three-day, alcohol-free celebration of authentic Aboriginal culture. whttp://www.lauradancefestival.com

JULY

Imparja Camel Cup Alice Springs, NT. Second Sat. This event originated with camels charging down the dry Todd River; the camel-racing now takes place at Blatherskite Park, with free buses to the site. Entry fee. whttp://www.camelcup.com.au.

Brisbane Festival Brisbane, QLD. Mid-July; even years. Huge, biennial, seventeen-day festival featuring performing arts, food and drink, music, writing, kids’ stuff and fireworks. whttp://www.brisbanefestival.com.au.

Darwin Beer Can Regatta NT. Third Sun. Mindil Beach is the venue for the recycling of copious empties into a variety of “canstructed” seacraft. Also a thong-throwing contest; Territorian eccentricity personified. whttp://www.beercanregatta.org.au.

Melbourne International Film Festival VIC. End July to mid-Aug. The country’s largest and most prestigious film festival, lasting for nineteen days with a focus on Australian, cult and arty films, plus a multimedia component. whttp://www.miff.com.au.

AUGUST

Isa Rodeo Mount Isa, QLD. Second or third weekend. Australia’s largest rodeo – a gritty, down-to-earth encounter with bulls, horses and their riders. whttp://www.isarodeo.com.au.

Henley-on-Todd Regatta Alice Springs, NT. Third Sat. Wacky races in bottomless boats running down the dry Todd River; the event is heavily insured against the river actually flowing. whttp://www.henleyontodd.com.au.

Shinju Matsuri Festival Broome, WA. End Aug. Probably the most remote of the big festivals, but the town packs out for WA’s ten-day Oriental-themed pearl festival. whttp://www.shinjumatsuri.com.au.

SEPTEMBER

Birdsville Races QLD. First weekend. Once a year, the remote Outback town of Birdsville (population approx 120) comes alive for a weekend (Fri & Sat) of drinking and horseracing – a well-known and definitive Australian oddity. whttp://www.birdsvilleraces.com.

Royal Melbourne Show VIC. Mid-Sept. Eleven-day agricultural bonanza, featuring sheep shearing, dog and horse shows and performing pigs. Rides, candyfloss and contests for everything from Jersey-Holstein cows to wood-choppers. whttp://www.royalshow.com.au.

AFL Grand Final Melbourne, VIC. Last Sat. Huge, testosterone-charged sporting event. The Australian Football League final is held at Melbourne’s MCG and is accompanied by lots of beer drinking and celebrating, depending on which team wins. whttp://www.afl.com.au.

OCTOBER

Australian Motorcycle Grand Prix VIC. Held over one weekend on Phillip Island, this is one of the last races of the World Championship and a popular pilgrimage for all motorbike enthusiasts. whttp://www.motogp.com.au.

Melbourne Festival VIC. Mid-Oct. One of Australia’s pre-eminent annual arts events, this seventeen-day festival has a cast of thousands drawn from the fields of music, multimedia, opera, dance and theatre. Ticketed and free performances are held both indoors at various venues and on Melbourne’s streets. whttp://www.melbournefestival.com.au.

NOVEMBER

Melbourne Cup Flemington Racecourse, VIC. First Tues. Australia’s Ascot, a 148-year-old horse race that brings the entire country to a standstill around the radio or TV. whttp://www.melbournecup.com.

DECEMBER

Christmas Day Sydney, NSW. Turkey on the beach is an awesome concept for European travellers – on Sydney’s Bondi Beach, it’s coupled with alcohol, making this public holiday a riot. Sadly, the days of free partying are long gone and the organized festivities are by ticket only.

New Year’s Eve Sydney, NSW. The fireworks display from Sydney Harbour Bridge is a grand show, and a fine example to the rest of the world of how to welcome in the New Year. To get the best views along the water’s edge, get there while it’s still light.

Sydney–Hobart Yacht Race Sydney, NSW. Crowds flock to the harbour to witness the start of this classic regatta, which departs Sydney at 1pm on Boxing Day and arrives in Hobart three days later. whttp://rolexsydneyhobart.com.

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